remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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