That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
