4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
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There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
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you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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