It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
