Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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