Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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