So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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