I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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