it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
