the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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