I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
