the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
