he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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