I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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