What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize