Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
