I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
