John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
