How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
