3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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