the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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