I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
