i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
