I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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