Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
