Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
