If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
