How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
