who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
