I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
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I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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