Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
