I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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