How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
