Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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