I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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