5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
