my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
