There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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