i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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