so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she woke up with a sticky ear
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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