My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
