South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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