Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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