i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
