writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize