I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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