david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize