Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
