so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
