im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
