Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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