i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
