Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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