hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
