we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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