we're blogging at a bar
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
