dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
