just come out here and I will go home with you...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
