turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
