It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
