Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
