physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize