i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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