So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
